Finding Culture

Well, I have decided since I am detoxing, I am going to try and do cultural things, when I first moved to London I was always at different exhibitions, poetry readings and gallerys, however in recent months, I seem to be spending more and more time in bars, clubs and parties rather than learning and seeing new things. So I thought I would make a start today, I got into work early and rather than chatting on msn went and did some research on Eric Gill, not only a man whos art work and type designs are spectacular, but someone who's personality and sexuality I am interested in. He is a man who in many ways I admire. The image he created portraying transexuals is incredible. (If I can figure out how to upload images I will find it and put it on this blog). For his time he certainly was a very controversial man, much to the catholic church's disgust. Anyway I enjoyed my bit of Gill time, and have been able to help a reader out quite a bit this afternoon; who is studying him :-) So thats made me feel happy, its always good when you can gain knowlege then pass it on. I am now browsing the web for exhibitions and things to do in London, I plan on going to the Bridewell theatre, as well as seeing what things are going on along southbank and central London. It feels good to acctually be doing things, its a nice refreshing change.

Vegetating!

Well, I still feel ill - sore throat, didn't go to work today, spent the day lying in bed vegetating and browsing the web for porn. Then started thinking about my next potential fuck... and the fact I don't have one. Since splitting with my ex I haven't really started seeing anyone and have finally decided its time to move on, but it seems to be as soon as I start looking all the potential fucks have dissapeared, either lost interest or run away to the land of monogomy. I am not looking for a relationship just a bit of fun, but finding someone to bone as a singleton is much harder than you think, I started thinking back to been in a relationship, you really do take sex for granted when you've got it on tap. Now the regular good, comfortable sex has gone you have to take chances on new people, its rather scary I mean what if they have a small penis or something? How do you say you don't want to have sex with them once uv'e seen it. Perhaps I am over analyzing fucking, but I am just not used to having sex with new people and been single. Also there are very few people I fancy which creates even more of a problem, you have to fancy someone to have sex, but there really doesn't seem to be too many that do it for me. Hmmm think ill continue browsing porn for now, although theres only so much wanking a girl can do, if I don't start getting some fun soon I think i'm gonna turn into a rapist!

My first ever blog!

I used to keep diarys as a kid, and quite like to write things down to clarify my thoughts, I have a book I write in from time to time but decided why not start a blog? So here is my first blog, I am at the moment ill in bed, this is from taking way too many drugs over the last few months, since splitting with my ex, I have been taking naughty substances most weekends really and quite often during the week too. Theres been the choice of going out and getting wasted? or sitting in on my own. I went for the first option as lonelyness is not something I am too fond off.

So after months of this its finally destroyed my immune system and left me with tonsilits, so today is the day I have decided, enough is enough. I am going to detox ( take no drugs) Until I get back from India, which is in January. I am travelling for a while so need my strength and also really need to sort my head out and stay sober for a while. So not I have written it down, it will hopefully encourage me to stick to it and be a good girl for a while. Focus on work and other aspects of life which I seem to be neglecting. Anyway this is my first blog. I am sure there will be more to come.


xx